From Slate...just too funny to resist...Boss Harp is thinking "where have all my mentors gone...far, far away?"
November ManIf history is kind, Bush might get a turkey named after him.By Bruce Reed
Monday, Nov. 19, 2007
Wing & Prayer: Tomorrow, for the next to the last time, President Bush will go to the Rose Garden for the annual Thanksgiving turkey pardon. Bush rushed through the 2001 ceremony in just
four minutes. This year,
like last, he is more likely to linger, savoring each remaining drop of relevancy and proud to be trusted with at least one exercise of executive power.
It's not fair to suggest that over time,
pets begin to resemble their masters. But Bush does have more in common with the turkeys than ever. As Peter Baker points out in today's Washington Post, Bush told one biographer, "Now I'm
an October-November man." Unfortunately for Bush, time has passed him by. Both parties are in such a hurry to choose his successor that they're jumped to the same conclusion as American retailers:
it's December already.
Republicans and Democrats aren't the only ones ready to turn the page on the Bush White House. So, it seems, is the Bush White House.
Like Bush, the previous two second-term presidents faced a hostile Congress in their last two years in office. But unlike Bush, both Reagan and Clinton used their sway with the American people to bring Congress to the table, and welcomed the chance to find common ground. Reagan worked with Democrats – including an up-and-coming governor named Clinton – to pass the Family Support Act of 1988. Clinton persuaded reluctant Republicans to fund his domestic agenda, from reducing class size to opening new markets in poor and rural areas.
By contrast, Bush seems to have given up on working with the Congress or winning back the American people – or perhaps taken note that they have long since given up on him. Even loyalist Karl Rove, in his debut column for Newsweek, doesn't mention Bush by name, advising GOP candidates on how to overcome "the low approval rates of
the Republican president." The only audience Bush has left is history, which
may not have much use for him, either.
The White House is so intent on the history books that appropriately enough, tomorrow Bush may even pin hopes for his legacy on a turkey. Usually, entries in the annual contest to name two turkeys come from Thanksgiving history and tradition, like this year's "May & Flower." But an unlikely 2007 entry stands out as Bush's own sentimental favorite: "
Truman & Sixty."
The professed reason for "Truman & Sixty" is that Harry Truman granted the first turkey pardon 60 years ago. But for this White House, those two words are more about Bush: "Truman" (an unpopular president rescued by historians half a century later) and "Sixty" (Bush's best-case disapproval rating, as well as his age when he lost Congress). That's the only way to explain an entry that could draw the lowest vote total since "Harvest & Bounty" and "Plymouth & Mayflower" got 3% each in 2003. (This year, the smart money is on "Wing & Prayer.")
The Bush White House put one other curious entry on this year's ballot: "Jake & Tom," which sounds a lot more modern than such past same-sex pairings as "
Washington & Lincoln" or "Lewis & Clark." At first glance, this seemed like an historic breakthrough for a president whose response to Brokeback Mountain was, "
I'd be glad to talk about ranching." Back in the day, the conservative base might have lit up the White House switchboard, demanding to know what this administration will force America's schoolchildren to vote on next? "Will & Grace"? "Truman & Capote"?
Alas, the White House remains a few centuries behind on gay rights, and "Jake & Tom" is not some gossip item about Gyllenhaal & Cruise. According to the
National Wild Turkey Federation (NWTF), "Jake" is the term for a juvenile male turkey; "Tom" is the name for an adult male. You can tell the two apart by their feathers: the juvenile has an erratic tail.
Father and son turkeys may not be quite the historical spin the Bush White House was looking for. But even 43 has something to be thankful for. At his first ceremony in 2001, Bush joked that one of the two turkeys he pardoned was in a secure and undisclosed location. Nowadays, the roles are reversed, and Bush is the one in the safest place to go unnoticed – his own White House.